Post by Admin on Jun 2, 2014 4:46:39 GMT
I’ve been writing quite a bit here lately, trying to get things off my chest, explain some things, confess some things and help people to see the truth concerning Michael being alive- thus far I’ve been pretty vague - but that’s me, I’m pretty reserved. Michael is alive, that was him in the hologram and many people are wondering why they feel so perplexed. Did they wonder why the image was altered. It screams Michael and I will likely talk more about that some other times. There are some things I want to talk about that I don’t want to talk about, like how I suffered, believed a lie and how no one who knew immediately came to me and said anything… I admit sometimes I wondered but I was in such a state of mourning and distress a lot of things weren’t so clear. I’ve loved Michael long before I ever met him, I’ve been supportive and he and his family know that. So, knowing they knew I fell to pieces, was in a constant state of tears and had even reached out to them many times when before and going to the preliminary hearings of the Conrad Murray trial - I often wondered why wasn’t I comforted… The answer I kept telling myself was they must not know. I know a lot of people can easily say and think shut up we love Michael too and we all suffered but my suffering was beyond that it was torment, thinking him to be dead, wondering if he were alive, having a heck of a lot of information inside of me and unable to speak to anyone about it trying to keep a secret for people who had disregarded me… I know Michael or any member of his family could have said something to me then and to comfort me but from June 25th till some time of the Murray preliminary trial aside from things I saw or heard at the memorial there was nothing seen to help me and so much silence.
I think that silence is a major part of the confusion I had from what I remembered to what unfolded in front of me daily. I couldn’t comprehend how or why. So many times I wanted to talk to the fans I was around and tell them how it seemed at a certain point or even my pastor but I couldn’t speak with anyone- or rather I didn’t allow myself to I was more confused than you’d possibly imagine. I’d said that I wouldn’t share the things I said that God revealed but yet here I am- however I presumed that information would be shared with me and I did say at the time just let me know only it was too late and out of ear shot. I recall rationalizing of course I’d be informed if that were to happen… I remember I was fasting and praying and the Lord had moved me to write some poems, I know that sounds odd but it’s true. I wrote about my love for Michael and while writing God began to reveal some things to me that was the start of me opening my eyes and truly seeing Michael had to still be alive. I’d written poems before to Michael that had revelation within them and so did that one -that one for me.
I wrote this one poem once I’ll share part of with you:
Shadows fall in sunshine
Stars within the night
Upon this world you’ve shone on
With such a loving light
You wonder why they scorn you
Your heart they don’t embrace
Nor see the hurt within your eyes
The pain they can’t erase
There within the distance
They’ve planned your demise…
I’m not gonna type it all and I don’t have it on this computer. If you like you can look it up- it was posted to the internet. There was a time when someone kept trying to claim they had written some of my stuff before and the owner of some publishing site did an investigation and discovered who it was but didn’t share the name with me because she was a minor I was told. Some time later it dawned on me who it must have been a fan I use to talk to but haven’t for a while.
Anyway, I’m rambling and I think I already told you I tend to do that. I actually hate writing but when I am moved to do so I write but if not I usually don’t. Speaking of that there was a time that I was moved not to write. I told you before how the Holy Spirit had guided me to write to Michael after June 25, 2009 and I know it sounds crazy but I have a close relationship with God. I’m not saying I haven’t sinned I have- even the bible let’s us know that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” What I am saying is we are close, I talk to Him every day, throughout the day and at night. I don’t just go to Him in prayer or sing worship alone but He’s truly my best friend. Yours too- you just may not know it yet- or maybe you do I don’t know what I know is He is real and His word is true which says “trust in the Lord thy God with all your heart and lean not on thine own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” I think I quoted that right- if not please forgive me, I’m human and make mistakes. What I was saying though is that the Holy Spirit moved me to stop writing Michael after I’d written to him since being guided to write. I’d written several or more poems to him then and posted on a Myspace page I used to have. There didn’t seem to be a reply coming in and the last time I had spoken to him was on the phone before June 25th 2009. No reply, nothing just me pining away letter after letter, poem after poem… When the Holy Spirit moved me to stop I was obedient and next thing you know I see this letter on the internet where people are debating whether it is Michael’s handwriting or not and who the letter could be to. I read it and I wondered who else could it be to other than me… I remember now it said “why did you take away your love, the same love that saved me from my enemies… It spoke of doing what he was told and well it said a lot of things that he believed in soul mates... I really need to pull that out and read it because I haven’t in so long… Needless to say- I prayed on it and was allowed to start writing again. It was Pearl Jr. who put the poem up. She’s written a documentary called “Alive…. I used to talk to her about some things concerning Michael and the alleged death before it was ruled alleged. I remember being concerned and not knowing who all was involved or doing what and warning her to be careful because the FBI could be or maybe I said the CIA… After that it was like a torch went on in her brain and I felt at times she was trying to fish inside mine to see what I knew and would reveal to her. She wrote and released an “ebook” some time after that. Pearl and I had met at the trial in Santa Maria, California during the bogus molestation allegations concerning the Avrizo family, otherwise tagged by many who were there the professional liars. Speaking of that I remember during that time the reporters would often say "why are we even here." We all knew the allegations were lame. I’d gotten a press pass to attend the trial- I think I mentioned that earlier but in case I didn’t it was Frank Dileo that Michael’s mom Mrs. Katherine Jackson had passed it to in the courtroom to pass back to me. No wait- that was the family pass they got me when I informed them I was having problems with people concerning the press pass. I was basically asked to make a choice concerning reporting for the lady I use to send reports to and either stop praying with fans etc. or give back the press pass- I chose God and prayer. I was used by God to comfort many fans then and we all prayed earnestly for the will of God unified and from our hearts. I met so many wonderful people and to them and all others again I say I'm sorry, please forgive me.
Sharon B. Sidney
Posted June 2, 2014
I think that silence is a major part of the confusion I had from what I remembered to what unfolded in front of me daily. I couldn’t comprehend how or why. So many times I wanted to talk to the fans I was around and tell them how it seemed at a certain point or even my pastor but I couldn’t speak with anyone- or rather I didn’t allow myself to I was more confused than you’d possibly imagine. I’d said that I wouldn’t share the things I said that God revealed but yet here I am- however I presumed that information would be shared with me and I did say at the time just let me know only it was too late and out of ear shot. I recall rationalizing of course I’d be informed if that were to happen… I remember I was fasting and praying and the Lord had moved me to write some poems, I know that sounds odd but it’s true. I wrote about my love for Michael and while writing God began to reveal some things to me that was the start of me opening my eyes and truly seeing Michael had to still be alive. I’d written poems before to Michael that had revelation within them and so did that one -that one for me.
I wrote this one poem once I’ll share part of with you:
Shadows fall in sunshine
Stars within the night
Upon this world you’ve shone on
With such a loving light
You wonder why they scorn you
Your heart they don’t embrace
Nor see the hurt within your eyes
The pain they can’t erase
There within the distance
They’ve planned your demise…
I’m not gonna type it all and I don’t have it on this computer. If you like you can look it up- it was posted to the internet. There was a time when someone kept trying to claim they had written some of my stuff before and the owner of some publishing site did an investigation and discovered who it was but didn’t share the name with me because she was a minor I was told. Some time later it dawned on me who it must have been a fan I use to talk to but haven’t for a while.
Anyway, I’m rambling and I think I already told you I tend to do that. I actually hate writing but when I am moved to do so I write but if not I usually don’t. Speaking of that there was a time that I was moved not to write. I told you before how the Holy Spirit had guided me to write to Michael after June 25, 2009 and I know it sounds crazy but I have a close relationship with God. I’m not saying I haven’t sinned I have- even the bible let’s us know that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” What I am saying is we are close, I talk to Him every day, throughout the day and at night. I don’t just go to Him in prayer or sing worship alone but He’s truly my best friend. Yours too- you just may not know it yet- or maybe you do I don’t know what I know is He is real and His word is true which says “trust in the Lord thy God with all your heart and lean not on thine own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” I think I quoted that right- if not please forgive me, I’m human and make mistakes. What I was saying though is that the Holy Spirit moved me to stop writing Michael after I’d written to him since being guided to write. I’d written several or more poems to him then and posted on a Myspace page I used to have. There didn’t seem to be a reply coming in and the last time I had spoken to him was on the phone before June 25th 2009. No reply, nothing just me pining away letter after letter, poem after poem… When the Holy Spirit moved me to stop I was obedient and next thing you know I see this letter on the internet where people are debating whether it is Michael’s handwriting or not and who the letter could be to. I read it and I wondered who else could it be to other than me… I remember now it said “why did you take away your love, the same love that saved me from my enemies… It spoke of doing what he was told and well it said a lot of things that he believed in soul mates... I really need to pull that out and read it because I haven’t in so long… Needless to say- I prayed on it and was allowed to start writing again. It was Pearl Jr. who put the poem up. She’s written a documentary called “Alive…. I used to talk to her about some things concerning Michael and the alleged death before it was ruled alleged. I remember being concerned and not knowing who all was involved or doing what and warning her to be careful because the FBI could be or maybe I said the CIA… After that it was like a torch went on in her brain and I felt at times she was trying to fish inside mine to see what I knew and would reveal to her. She wrote and released an “ebook” some time after that. Pearl and I had met at the trial in Santa Maria, California during the bogus molestation allegations concerning the Avrizo family, otherwise tagged by many who were there the professional liars. Speaking of that I remember during that time the reporters would often say "why are we even here." We all knew the allegations were lame. I’d gotten a press pass to attend the trial- I think I mentioned that earlier but in case I didn’t it was Frank Dileo that Michael’s mom Mrs. Katherine Jackson had passed it to in the courtroom to pass back to me. No wait- that was the family pass they got me when I informed them I was having problems with people concerning the press pass. I was basically asked to make a choice concerning reporting for the lady I use to send reports to and either stop praying with fans etc. or give back the press pass- I chose God and prayer. I was used by God to comfort many fans then and we all prayed earnestly for the will of God unified and from our hearts. I met so many wonderful people and to them and all others again I say I'm sorry, please forgive me.
Sharon B. Sidney
Posted June 2, 2014
